Every year I forget that the first week of homeschool usually consists of fun, laughter, a desire to quit, and a substantial amount of spiritual warfare from the pit of hell. Sounds delightful doesn't it? I'm the strict mom, the mean mom, the fun mom, the angry mom, the tired mom, the peaceful mom, and the determined and often defeated mom at some point that first week. (I've even been all those 'moms' in the span of one day!) Why do I keep forgetting how hard it is to start new routines? Why do I always forget that the enemy is after our joy and devotion to God and one another? After repenting to God and making amends with my kids multiple times at the start of this homeschool year I want to share why I think the enemy is so dead set on destroying our homeschool atmosphere and calling.
Why Does Homeschool Have Spiritual Warfare? Because The Enemy Knows My Mission
What do you picture when someone says, "we started school this week?" Maybe you see a bunch of kids in desks looking with dread at the math worksheet in front of them. (Yes, some moments might look like this). While we are always teaching and training as parents throughout the year, when our homeschool starts we take discipleship training up a few notches. We're discussing apologetics, worldview, praying for those in crisis we learn about in the news, etc. While homeschooling must cover the basics of reading, writing, and arithmetic, those basics are just the vehicles we use to teach our kids Truth and how to follow Christ. I think the Enemy delights in summer when I am just trying to be "fun" mom and not as intentional in some ways with discipleship. He HATES intentionality in faith. He loathes it when we are intentional with our time, finances, words, relationships, studies, and conversations. It's that simple. He knows we are raising warriors of Truth and Light and he hates it. Yes, getting into a new routine is hard. Yes, setting new structures and boundaries often seem more chaotic than organized at first. Besides the struggles with starting something new as humans, we need to be aware that there is a living enemy after us and our schools at home because he knows that if we are successful in our discipleship training then we will be lighting up all the darkness around us.
The Enemy Knows I'm Not Enough and Replays Old Lies
If someone watched you live your life from the moment you were born until you were in your late thirties do you think they would know your strengths and weaknesses? Could they identify old habits and maybe even lies you've believed about yourself? I believe the enemy knows me at this level. He has watched me and my patterns of living. He's watched me conquer addiction, shame, and grow each year closer to God. But he also knows this--old lies can be successfully replayed. All the record players in my mind of shame and lies from the enemy have been destroyed over and over again, and yet somehow he builds a new one and starts playing it next to me. I hear those old records when I'm in the throes of extremely hard parenting moments. The recording might say something like, "I'm not enough for my kids as a teacher and as a mom and homeschooling is a really bad idea that will end in failure." Then my human brokenness kicks in and I start shaming myself, trying harder, and getting angry at myself and those around me. BUT, when I can actually be disciplined to stop and take a moment away to pray or even just quiet my mind I can hear the truth.
The truth is that I'm NOT enough and that's why I need Jesus. I've been trying to do too much on my own instead of asking Jesus to lead our homeschool schedule and daily agendas. He's literally the reason why we are doing what we're doing and I can still forget that. If you're a recovering type A-strong-willed-independent-firstborn like myself then you might need this simple reminder like me: "I can bring my best to the table, but it's GOD who fills in the gaps of all of my parenting and homeschooling." We need Christ in every moment, every schedule-making session, goal-setting, and math problem. WITH CHRIST IN ME I am more than capable of completing any task and mission. My kids need Christ more than they need me. This is one truth that might be hard to swallow but it takes some of the pressure off of this over-achiever. My children are the Lord's, and I just have the privilege of raising them up and pointing them towards Him each and every moment of the day.
The Enemy Wants to Destroy My Family
Since the beginning of creation God has set man within families. He knows we need earthly community to band together and follow Him. Whether it's blood family or spiritual family, the Enemy wants to destroy it. If we learn to hate our fathers and mothers then we might in turn start to hate any form of authority--even our Heavenly Father. Families bring comfort, community, love, support, and a lifelong practice of forgiveness, unconditional love, and making amends. When the Enemy is able to destroy the family he can easily gain steam on destroying any faith tied to the family and our belief that God the Father is a Good Father. He wants to get our hearts focused on ourselves instead of loving God and one another.
When I felt tension in our home off and on as we started homeschool back up I realized again what powers were at play. Yes it's hard to start new routines. Yes it's hard to be excited about school subjects that don't come easily. BUT, the real struggle going on behind the scenes I believe is that the enemy wants to thwart any healthy plans, habits, and words of life we speak to one another. He loves chaos! He loves dissension! Here's the key: remember who the REAL enemy is. The enemy is not the preteen rolling their eyes again, the sassy "know-it-all" kid constantly arguing with you, or even the threenager throwing fits and destroying all your hard work. The enemy is Satan. He wants your joy, your relationships, your mothering, you nurturing and gentle heart to be hardened when the going gets tough. This is when we have to surrender. Turn to Jesus. Stop everything and pray over your children for restoration. Pray aloud that Jesus would bring peace into your home and help you to speak calmly and not harshly. Surrender doesn't mean that everything will be perfect or work out just the way you want. Surrender just means that you're releasing control (of which you never had) to the One who is capable of holding your family together in ways you cannot. Keep pointing to Him. We are going to hurt one another and disappoint each another often every day--but that's why we need Jesus. His grace is sufficient for our homeschool journeys!
One of my friends gave me a hilarious example of what starting back up homeschool is like. The first few weeks of homeschool are like getting an old clunky car to start up again--it ain't pretty, it's clunky, awkward, loud, and even sketchy at times--BUT IT DOES START! :o) So stand firm! Have faith! And keep chugging along! God is with you and for you!
My prayer for you today:
Lord please bless the parents reading this that are about ready to throw in the towel. Wash their hearts with renewed peace and give them strength to fight the right battles surrendering all control to you. Thank you for the freedom to homeschool and for how far you've brought us already. Help us to remember why we are doing what we're doing and to keep the main thing the main thing. Thank you for providing for us in every way to live godly and humble lives focused on bringing You praise. Amen.
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