My husband and I recently saw the movie, "Sound of Freedom" in theaters. It's definitely an eye-opening film based on the true story of a man that goes on an endeavor to rescue a sibling pair from sex-trafficking, and ends up rescuing hundreds of children and leaving his job to make this his life's mission. I was thankful for the opportunity to learn more about what trafficking looks like, and the schemes used to entice innocent children and families into this trap. It's hard to not panic as a mom of young children when learning about this level of darkness. How can I fight this giant evil? It seems impossible. My husband and I left the theater with a sense of hopelessness and despair. In reality, the struggles we face in our daily lives are nothing when compared to what these precious families have been through. So, what can we do? Sometimes in the urgency within my heart wanting to mend this broken world I can forget that God is a generational God. Yes, he can use men and women giving financially right now to fund this fight, yes, he can use grown men right now to break down the doors of brothels. But what about my role as a stay at home homeschool mom? I felt a glimmer of hope and empowered in my full-time job as a homeschool mom when God gave me a glimpse of my mission---to raise up a generation of men that will fight for Truth. Here's what that looks like for our family in such a time as this.
Putting Faith Over Fear Through Surrender
Surrender. It's the first step each and every day of motherhood. Realizing I can't control my children's futures, choices, or even ultimate safety from heartache and pain. They are the Lord's and I'm just privileged to be raising them on this earth. While the future can bring fear of the unknown (what choices my kids will make, potential loss, harm etc) I can trust that God is faithful. His Word says that He's working for the good of those who love Him. This means when I'm leading my little man cubs through their life that I can trust God will bring all of my time gardening their hearts to a grand harvest. Now, there still is free will, and as we know that's a messy messy thing. Ultimately their journey with God or without God is up to them. Prayerfully though, by unconditionally loving our young men and training them in righteousness they will choose to be warriors of truth instead of darkness. I pray they might stomp out evil instead of succumbing to it. While it's important to give my all to this mission of raising world changers, I also at the same time have to hold my children with open surrendered hands acknowledging that I don't know what God's story is for their lives. Only God knows. I often pray over my kids at night before they go to sleep that they would know how precious they are, that God loves them, and that they would be strong and courageous in the Lord, and that they would choose to trust His word knowing that He knows what's best. Surrendering our children to the Lord's plan and training them up in His ways is the first step towards raising righteous men.
Raising Warriors Means Valuing Character Over Academics
If we want to raise warriors for Christ that will stand for truth then we have to reevaluate where our time, money, and attention is most directed. Hear me out--education is so important! BUT, I'd rather my child flunk math but be strong in his character and integrity than receive a full-ride to college and have no value in his spirit regarding truth and the things of heaven. If raising disciples of Christ is my ultimate goal, then everything I choose to do must flow from that. How we talk about school, treating one another, our habits, time spent on sports, spending money, etc is all a reflection of what we value most. If my kids are always busy doing sports/activities that all center around them then I'm not living out the value of a life of discipleship centered around Christ and His teachings being of the upmost importance. We embrace our kid's passions and giftings, but we also work to make sure that Christ is at the center of our home--not them. Making sure that we're storing God's Word in our hearts, connecting with other believers through church and small groups, and thinking about/serving others in a missional way around us is more important than making the college baseball team. When we are deciding whether or not to make another weekly/monthly commitment we need to evaluate whether or not it will take away from the ultimate mission of raising disciples, or if that specific commitment is a strategic part of it.
Allowing Risk So They Can Conquer Hard Things
My firstborn was created as a cautious and deep thinking daughter. So when my risk-taking second born son arrived I had to buy better running shoes. Having a daring and courageous boy has been quite the adventure! Learning to let him try things that freak me out (like riding a two-wheeler bike down huge hills at age 3, doing front flips off a diving board also at age 3, and now attempting tricks on dirt bikes and four-wheelers at age 8) has been a challenging journey for me. I've had to let go of control in ways I never understood before! I had to learn to ask myself "why" when my initial response was an immediate, "no." "Why can't he try that?" or "why can't he do that?" The answer was usually, "because I'm scared he might get hurt" or "because I think he's too young for that." The answer has rarely been, "because he will die." Kids usually know their own limits, and if we don't let them explore and learn from those limits by testing them, then how are they supposed to stand firm as confident young men ready to engage in literal and spiritual war when they leave the nest? Boys need to conquer little things like climbing rocks and jumping off of them, to big things like conquering mountains and dirt bike trails with jumps, so that they can move onto grandiose things like conquering their sinful nature (as all of us need to do with the Lord's help).
Boys were created to grow into men that will serve, protect, and conquer evil as they pursue righteous living. They aren't called by God to "rule over their homes with selfish dictatorship styles" but rather self-sacrificing protective hearts ready to give their lives up for their wives just like Christ gave His life up for the church. If I decide to let my fears and 'what ifs' rule our lives, then I'm not allowing my young men to truly step forward into the man that God wants them to be. Allowing them to take healthy risks and learn from life is an important part of growing up. In order to conquer hardships in our lives we often have to learn how to struggle well. David Thomas says in his book, 'Raising Emotionally Strong Boys', "struggle is good soil for growing resilience and resourcefulness." (NOTE: If you haven't read this book I highly encourage you to do so no matter what age your boys are. I read this with several friends who had boys of all ages/stages and we each gained so much insight on practical tools and methods to help our boys grow into emotionally strong men). I want my boys to be safe and not suffer. But more than that I want them to chase after God's truth for the rest of their lives. This means they must learn how to struggle well, not give up, and develop perseverance to then conquer the purpose God has put before them. Lord help me to let go each and every day and not stand in the way of the path you are calling my boys to!
Sharing Stories of Noble Men
Boys need to witness men in their lives standing up for truth and showing disciplined character and integrity. The next best thing to walking with men of integrity is to read about them. It's why I haven't met a man yet that doesn't enjoy some type of heroic storyline--be it Star Wars, Marvel, or some other "good overcoming evil" narrative. We started by reading our kids the Bible--it's loaded with men who walked with God and some that even gave their lives up for Christ! We talk about the weaknesses of men (and women) and how we ALL need Jesus no matter what. Every STRONG MAN in scripture is really just a man on his knees before the almighty God surrendering and saying, "here I am Lord, use me." It's actually God working through these men in miraculous situations that makes the men seem heroic. If you want to be strong and mighty like King David you have to be in full pursuit of the heart of God. If you want to lead people like Moses, then submit your tongue to the Lord. If you want to be great, then pick up a towel and serve by washing stinky feet like Jesus did. Other books we've read have included devotions on historical figures that helped establish our great country and fought for freedom, missionary journeys, and a great book called, 'Hero Tales,' by Dave and Neta Jackson. This is a phenomenal book of true stories from Christian Heroes (men and women) that made an impact on the world because of their courage and unshakeable faith. Of course you've also gotta read The Narnia Series somewhere along the line! (My husband read this series to our kids a couple years ago and they loved it! We haven't read the final book in the series however because it is too intense for them at this moment). Boys need to see and hear about REAL LIFE heroes that were faithful to God no matter what. They need to know that God can use them just like he used these everyday men to bring glory to God, stand up for truth, and ultimately change the world.
Envisioning My Son's Future
I'm not raising a little boy who simply needs to learn how to care for himself, be happy, and be a good citizen. No. That's low level living and dreaming. When I teach and train my boys I picture them being a godly husband, father, leader and friend. I picture them as teachers and worship leaders and men of integrity that will fight for truth. I'm so thankful I have the privilege of being their mom. I know that one day they will leave this house and have to make their own choice of who they want to worship--themselves, or the living God Almighty. I cannot afford to waste my time on frivolous matters because time is slipping away even though I'm ALL IN teaching, training, and soaking in every moment with them. Yes, I get distracted by the household that needs tending, the school that needs finishing, and the schedule that can sometimes get out of whack. However, in those moments when I cry out to God for help, He reminds me of what is most important--tending to their hearts. No one will ever love, cherish, and pray for these little men like their father and I do. They need to be held and listened to and told that they are strong and courageous. When you fill a child's heart with admiration and praise and couple it with strong character building and training, I've seen how my children can then have the confidence to take on just about anything. No matter their future title or position in life they know that they will be leaders wherever God has them. Lord help us not to be distracted by the frivolous things, but to stand firm and keep our eyes on the mission of raising our men to become warriors for You! Amen!
I pray this encourages you to set your mind on greater goals of mothering the sons that God has blessed you with! There will be hard days and seasons where we feel as if we are failing at it all. Praise God that He can take our little and turn it into something greater for His glory! Remember on those days to do small things with great love, and focus on love overall! Blessings!
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